My Story

My name is Bekah. I am 23 years old and was born in the second week of January in 1994. I know nothing about my first few days of being alive, except that I was abandoned on the streets of Ahmednagar, Maharashtra and found underweight, marasmic and sick with dysentery by police on January 11th. My first few weeks of life were spent in the hospital and foster care as inquiries were being made to find my guardians. It was during this time that I was given a name, Pranali. When nobody came forward to claim me, an institution called BSSK in Pune gained custody and I was healthy enough to be admitted for further rehabilitation. I was then declared available for adoption, and continued to wait for my forever family.

Meanwhile, across the globe in Columbia, SC a woman who ached to be in India again was raking the leaves in the front yard when she was suddenly overwhelmed with flashbacks of India. Moments later her husband walked out of the house saying BSSK had called Holt International with news of a little female baby waiting and that’s when my mama knew. Two months later, she was bringing me home to America just in time for Christmas. I was 11 months old when I found my forever family.

Growing up I was so torn. I desperately wanted to fit in somewhere. I wasn’t completely Indian, nor was I completely American. My parents never hid my adoption or my sisters’ adoptions from us (we all were adopted from the same orphanage in Pune). I longed for my mother’s beautiful white skin, and she in turn would stroke my hands and long for my beautiful dark skin. As I entered my teen years, wonder turned to anger and I spent many years angry at my birthmother for leaving me and abandoning me. How could I be so easy to give up?

I am now a young woman who has overcome the anger (somewhat) and am now in the process of coming to terms with the magnitude of the tragedy that transpired in my early life. After contacting Holt to gather more information about my adoption I learned that because I was abandoned and no one came forward to claim me when inquiries were made about my guardians, there is not enough information to conduct a search for my birthfamily. As heartbreaking as it was to read those words, it brought some closure to the wonder and hurt I’d been experiencing all these years.

I plan on going back to India for the first time within the next year or two, when I’m emotionally and financially ready. It won’t be a vacation – it will be a heavy trip so I plan on letting it happen when it’s supposed to. I don’t want to go before I’m ready. In the meantime, this blog is for my thoughts on adoption and the voice of the adoptee, and I invite you to join me on this journey to figuring out who I am.

10 thoughts on “My Story

  1. Dear Bekah, i m adopted myself from Pune and grew up in Germany. So i pretty much understand what you are going through. My first time in India was in 1993. To search for my mother took me 17 years. Currently i m in Pune to set up an organisation for adult adoptees. Do have a look through our website.

    Warm regards

    Arun Dohle

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Bekah

    I am writing to you from Raw, a documentary production company based in London. We are making a series about international adoption for BBC2.

    Inspired by the 2016 feature film, Lion, the documentary series will follow individuals who were adopted into the UK from South Asian countries (India, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and Pakistan) as they attempt to trace their birth families. Shooting in the UK and South Asia, and incorporating personal and historical archive, the films will journey with the protagonists as they seek to understand where they are from and how their findings might shape them. Given the personal nature of this series, we have an experienced team who are specialists in filming in sensitive circumstances.

    As part of our research we are looking to speak to people in the UK that have been adopted from South Asia and have either found their birth parents or are in the process of searching. I’d love to chat to you more about this, if you’re interested in hearing more about the series please contact us at adoption@raw.co.uk

    Thanks so much

    Suzette

    Like

  3. saw how you were treated on a recent blog post that you commented on… by some adoptees in particular by forbiddenfamily or whatever name is was posting by, she is my adopted out sib…check out my blog and find other links I have that tell you all you’ll need to know and more about Joan M Wheeler/Doris M Sippel

    Liked by 1 person

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